Somehow, early in my career, I learned that “curly hair isn’t professional.” I can’t pinpoint whether someone explicitly said that to me or if I drew this conclusion through observing others around me. Whichever, since the late 1990s, I have painstakingly blown out and flat-ironed my naturally curly hair each workday, seeking polish and professionalism. The summer months are particularly fun, because, within 10 minutes of completing the hair straightening ritual, I am once again, a humidity-fighting, frizzy mess.
Whether it resulted from working solely over Zoom during the pandemic, or listening to my daughter tell me that she likes my hair better when it is au naturel, I have been stepping away from my long-held belief.
Some lessons here:
1. It’s not about me. Whether coaching, leading or selling, our effectiveness depends on how we make others feel. It’s especially not about hairstyle.
2. Making it about me will get in the way of my impact. If I’m worried about what others think of me rather than what they need, I’m likely not bringing my best game to the show.
I’m not suggesting that the impression we make is not important. Especially when we first meet someone, we need to establish ourselves as credible and reliable. But, over time, if we show up for others with kindness, engagement, and positive intent, then the little stuff (like curls) is inconsequential.