Proving v. Improving

Recently, I was chatting with a highly regarded, thirty-something business leader. During our conversation, she told me that she had made a conscious decision to improve herself rather than worrying about proving herself.

Our interaction took me back to my own tenure as a senior leader when I was of a similar age. As the youngest person at the table by at least five years, I suffered from imposter syndrome, fearing that if I did something the slightest bit wrong, someone would call my bluff, and I would be declared a phony, or much worse.

Sure enough, my boss at the time saw right through me, although not in the way that I had feared.

“Don’t let the fear of losing your job get in the way of doing your job,” he so wisely told me.

My quest to appear as a perfect leader was getting in my way of leading my team. I was trying to prove myself rather than working on growing and improving my skills.

Fast forward 15 years, and I have learned a few things. These insights would have significantly benefitted me, had I had them earlier in my career.

Lead as yourself. Knowing who we are and leading from that place, rather than trying to “be a leader,” allows us to show up authentically and connect with others naturally.

Leaders are human, and that is a good thing. We all have superpowers, but we also trip ourselves up. An awareness of our shortcomings, when acted upon, will keep us on course and prompt us to ask for help when we need it.

Leaders make mistakes. Owning and learning from our missteps can heighten our influence and credibility. Willingness to be vulnerable and accept responsibility paves the way for others to connect with us and trust us more deeply.

When we are proving, we are not improving. As leaders, we have a responsibility to ourselves and others to continue to develop and stretch ourselves. There is no magic line that we cross in achieving greatness as leaders.

If we focus on improving, we will build trust, inspire others, and make a difference for those around us. Ultimately, the proving will take care of itself.